Crazy future predictions

[Violet Bliss]

Imagine the SBS/throw quads!

SBS quads will be the deciding winning factor. As well, either partner could do the throwing and lifting. There will be unique variety with every Pair and program.

The first ratified quint will be a throw jump.

The event will be so popular that it is not a domain of gay skaters.

 

[skatedreamer]

I'm honoured and humbled that I could inspire certifiable craziness and silliness. Thank you.

You're very welcome. Although TBH, for me it doesn't take much. Always delighted to find new sources of inspiration, though!

Re: SBS/throw quads (CSG), for a moment my fevered imagination thought that meant throw quads done SBS. You want certifiable? Coming right up...

 

[Sandpiper]

Eh, I still think (quint) throws and lifts will be a challenge for same-gender pairs. SBS quads will be fantastic though!

So, if we put this thread together: Everyone will travel to Pyeongchang in boats due to being security hazards. Male-male pairs will compete in the next Olympics in an underwater rink organized by ISU president Yuna Kim, her vice-president Patrick Chan, and tech controller Sarah Hughes. Aliona Savchenko and Brian Joubert will win OGM by default because female-male pairs will be so depleted by that time--their only opponent is Moskvina/Mishin, since V/T retired midway through the quad. Michelle Kwan, Carolina Kostner, and Adelina "I want to piss everyone off!" Sotnikova will compete for gold in ladies, while the men's competition is graced by both the kid Cha Joon-Hwan and the two-time champion Dick Button. Russian teams make a big dramafest in ice dance, but a last-minute comeback by D/W or V/M spoils the party. Then they all have a ninja-fight team event in the underwater rink, where hopefully no one dies from either blades or drowning.

...Did I miss anything?

 

[Violet Bliss]

Eh, I still think (quint) throws and lifts will be a challenge for same-gender pairs. SBS quads will be fantastic though!

So, if we put this thread together: Everyone will travel to Pyeongchang in boats due to being security hazards. Male-male pairs will compete in the next Olympics in an underwater rink organized by ISU president Yuna Kim, her vice-president Patrick Chan, and tech controller Sarah Hughes. Aliona Savchenko and Brian Joubert will win OGM by default because female-male pairs will be so depleted by that time--their only opponent is Moskvina/Mishin, since V/T retired midway through the quad. Michelle Kwan, Carolina Kostner, and Adelina "I want to piss everyone off!" Sotnikova will compete for gold in ladies, while the men's competition is graced by both the kid Cha Joon-Hwan and the two-time champion Dick Button. Russian teams make a big dramafest in ice dance, but a last-minute comeback by D/W or V/M spoils the party. Then they all have a ninja-fight team event in the underwater rink, where hopefully no one dies from either blades or drowning.

...Did I miss anything?

What you missed is the real future, which will be stranger than fiction or crazy predictions.

 

[skatedreamer]

^

Sandpiper, sounds like you've just about got it covered!

But here's yet another idea: Putin teams up w/ Speedy for the male pairs event but then they have the mother of all fights about costumes, whereupon Putin whacks Speedy w/ a Birkin bag, knocking him out cold (only momentarily; stay tuned). Their historic collaboration dissolves in gallons of tears and the Twitter network explodes. Putin marches indignantly back to the hockey team in high dudgeon while Speedy wakes up and goes back to...what else? Speedskating.

Meanwhile, the IOC gets major kudos from the eco-community for recycling the gallons of tears to fill the underwater rink. And someone else recycles Adrian Schultheiss' "insane" costume (the one that looks like a strait jacket), wrestles yours truly into it, and sends me off to a heavily-guarded facility for crazed figure skating fans where I reach new levels of lunacy...but can't catch a break on PCS, much less GOE.

 

[Pamigena]

ISU president annexes Iceland and declares himself King of Everything Icy. For some reason nobody objects.
He combines curling and figure skating into one event. At the same time.
Curling takes place in the middle of the rink.
The men have to perform jumps over the moving curling stones and players. Bonus points for whoever manages not to break any bones when hydroblading under the brooms limbo-style.
The women now only have to do various spins in circles around the curling team. The winner is the one who passes out last. This will stop after a few seasons because nobody can afford the insurance fee anymore. Too many ladies had spun out of control and flew into the audience like propellers. Many female skaters retired because of this change, but made a new career as human knife throwers.
Pairs is abolished because there's no real difference to Ice dance anyway.
Ice dance gets moved to the Summer Olympics and must now be performed on roller skates.
Figure skaters will no longer have a problem with costumes. They all have to wear the outfits of their respective nation's women's beach volleyball team.

 

[Violet Bliss]

Figure skaters will no longer have a problem with costumes. They all have to wear the outfits of their respective nation's women's beach volleyball team.

The men too?!

 

[Pamigena]

^ especially! Duh!

 

[skatedreamer]

The men have to perform jumps over the moving curling stones and players. Bonus points for whoever manages not to break any bones when hydroblading under the brooms limbo-style.

Pamina, your post made me start me LOLing all over again but the part about hydroblading sent me completely over...uh...the edge. Hilarious!

Have to ask: is your screen name a reference to Mozart's "The Magic Flute?"

 

[Pamigena]

yes, it is. my parents decided to inflict opera on me when I was a child, and some of it made an impression (besides, I always thought it was just a beautiful name )

 

[Chamazing]

looking for more figure skating scandal in the future

 

[Kitt]

Morozov decides to start dating women closer to his age; figure skating moms who had decided to sacrifice their child for glory go berserk!

 

[sky_fly20]

based on what we've seen off season I/Z will struggle while S/K will have a good debut
also seems Anna might struggle next season because of developing weight issue
S/M and B/D will have a good debut in pairs
Yuzu will dominate the next quad, other will only play catch up
Gracie will bring FS mainstream not only as a skater but bringing the FS sport more name in Hollywood

 

[Violet Bliss]

Morozov decides to start dating women closer to his age;

 

[skatedreamer]

yes, it is. my parents decided to inflict opera on me when I was a child, and some of it made an impression (besides, I always thought it was just a beautiful name )

Yes, it is a lovely name! (though I'm kind of a Ppppppppapagena/Ppppppppapageno gal myself. )

 

[Bonnie F]

This may be more of wish thinking than a crazy prediction but anyway I'll predict that Liza Kulik will be on the 2018 US Olympic team (I think she'd be age eligible - if not then this is an even crazier prediction).

 

[Mathman]

[Cinquanta] combines curling and figure skating into one event. At the same time. Curling takes place in the middle of the rink. The men have to perform jumps over the moving curling stones and players. Bonus points for whoever manages not to break any bones when hydroblading under the brooms limbo-style. The women now only have to do various spins in circles around the curling team…

I can totally see this sport!

BTW, in an earlier version of Golden Skate we had a poster named Tomino.

 

[snowflakebeautiful]

based on what we've seen off season I/Z will struggle while S/K will have a good debut
also seems Anna might struggle next season because of developing weight issue
S/M and B/D will have a good debut in pairs
Yuzu will dominate the next quad, other will only play catch up
Gracie will bring FS mainstream not only as a skater but bringing the FS sport more name in Hollywood

I'm so glad this is the "crazy future predictions" thread! I didn't know you had such a sense of humor, sky_fly! I thought these would be more along real predictions for you... I am pleasantly surprised! :agree:

~ Pamina ~ Many female skaters retired because of this change, but made a new career as human knife throwers.

LMFAO!!! All of your predictions! Just love it!

 

[karne]

This may be more of wish thinking than a crazy prediction but anyway I'll predict that Liza Kulik will be on the 2018 US Olympic team (I think she'd be age eligible - if not then this is an even crazier prediction).

Further to this: I predict the RFSF and the USFSA having an almighty tug-of-war over this mightily talented young lady who is both Russian and American by default until she's 18...

 

[Alba]

based on what we've seen off season I/Z will struggle while S/K will have a good debut
also seems Anna might struggle next season because of developing weight issue
Gracie will bring FS mainstream not only as a skater but bringing the FS sport more name in Hollywood

Finally you understood in which topic these comments of yours do belong. :thumbsup:
Brava!